User blog:FinchelWemma/Marina's Vulnerability Blog

Hey guys,

I am back. I hope you are all still living outside because of the long wait until the next episode. Had everybody of you a great time? I am still shocked because of last week where two of the group were sent home. It is still something that is hanging over our heads. But new week, new chances, right? So I told me that I will give my best for the whole other weeks that are coming. I will get stronger the next week and not lower. I will fight for it.

So this weeks theme was Vulnerability. A theme which I was excited about but also a little bit scared. And the song for the homework assignment is "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol. I like that song but I don't know if I will get it. But I will try and give my best. As every week Robert gave us the lyrics and went away. Dillion wanted line 8 but Reid said that this line is Roxys. But Roxy gave away the eight line to Dillion with a smile. That was suprising for me because otherwise she is argueing about the line she wants or she gets. Mikaela, Chace and Jayden looked a little confused when they looked to Roxy. But if Roxy gets sweet now it would be better for her and for the group. A little bit later Simon comes up with the idea that we were all sitting on the floor while we were singing our solos and then rise up and sing it to the mentor. And that idea was really great. I like it. We rehearse a little bit and in the end we were all ready for the next day. The homework assignment can come.

We were so excited as every week when we are sitting in the choir room. Robert enterd the room and told us the name of the mentors. Yeah! You heard right. Mentors. Two people. It was Emily van Camp and Dot Marie Jones. Two more people on Glee and Project: Glee who I like very, very much. They both told us something about the theme and then we performed the song in front of them. We moved the chairs, sat down on the bottom and the light fade out. It was a incredible feeling. But I felt a little lost without my wheelchair. But I managed to work it out. After our performance we all sat back in in our chairs. I lookd over to Dot Marie and saw some tears in her eyes. We must impressed her very much I think. After the talking of Dot Marie and Emily we were all waiting for the winner of the homework assignment. From Emily I got a positive mention. I was so happy about that. In the end it was Hermione. The decided it after a little talk with Robert in the corner because Dot Marie and Emily couldn't decide it so easily. I am sad that I didn't win again but there are many weeks which follow and so many chances for that. And I won the last week assignment so I don't care that I didn't make it. And the song for the music video was "Skyscraper" by Demi Lovato. I didn't know the song but I am very confident that I will managed that, too. I know I can do it. For this week there was also no choreography.

For the music video Erik talked to us in the waiting room in the house. He wanted us to talk about us. He would like to find out something about our past and our vulnerbilities. My vulnerbility is the moment when I was lying in the bed in room in the hospital and to get the information from a doctor who told me that I cannot walk again. He went and then a nurse rolled in the wheelchair. It was something like my whole world broke apart. Like... Like this were the end of my life. That my life would be worthless because of the wheelchair. But there other storys which are more vulnerable that mine. Like Dillions or Hermiones story. They must went to more terrible things that I must go through. I am very proud of them that they went through it and had such a strong personality. I hope they will get it for the rest of there lifes. But the think I changed my thoughts about Roxi was her story that she was a victim of Hurricane Katrina. I never thought of that. That was such a terrible moment for me when she told us all her story and bursted in tears.

In the booth I gave my best as every week but I think I was a little bit disconnected. I think it was because of the video shoot on the next day. I was more nervous about that because the story which I told you guys before. I don't know why.

In the video shoot I needed many takes before I got it right. I don't know why. Maybe because of the feeling that everyone is filming and watching at you or because of the déjávú I got while I was performing. I don't know. But what I know was that this wasn't my best that I gave.

At the evenig there was again the reveal of the bottom three. I was so nervous. There was a little feeling that told me that I was one of them. Something like saying: You where so bad. You are at the wrong place. But I tried to ignore it. I hoped so much that I wasn't one of the bottom three. So Roxy was the first on the call back list. I am so happy for her. She really gave over 100% this week and really deserves it. She showed us that she really can be a different person. That she has got a soft side in her personality. As Roxy was out of the room the time was coming. Many names were before me but after Dillion my name was coming. I was in the next week without a performance before Ryan. I was so glad about it. One more week. One more chance to show them that I can do better than this week. In the end Cameron, Reid and Mikaela must perform in front of Ryan. And at the end of the evening it was Cameron's time to go. It was so sad. Cameron is a great person. Nice and friendly. I will really miss him in this group. He was one of them which brought us the good mood in the room.

So far for this week. I hope you guys are still crossing the fingers for me. I all love you. Enjoy the rest of the week and stay excited as always and every week. We see us next week. I am away now.