User blog:MalcolmFox/Simon's Sexuality Blog

Hey Everyone! Simon here:D

When I heard that this week’s theme was “sexuality”, I was excited. I have to admit, the themes of the week are beginning to appeal to me more and more. At the beginning I was a little lost with individuality,... It took my system a long time to wake up and smell the coffee. I was so pigeon-holed into a certain type of performing that it was a shock to my system to realize that TV was totally different. Sexuality excited me, because I am totally comfortable with my sexuality, and I could not wait to show that in my performances throughout the week. I had a blast this week, and after Vulnerability I felt like I was gaining momentum in the competition for the first time.

The homework assignment was CRAZY!!I mean, "Sexy and I know it?"... really?? Hahaha... It was hilarious... It was a huge, sexy, performance, everybody really went for it, and I think it’s safe to say that we all had a laugh. Throwing our shirts off, then flirting with everyone??... Where else do you get to do that????? HA!!! It also helped that we had the awesome Graylen to judge us. Man, they are both the definition of SEXY!

“Die Young” was my favourite shoot so far. I love the song! The shoot itself was intense, but it was definitely the most comfortable I have felt. I feel like Hermione and I just clicked. We do have great chemistry on a day-to-day basis now that we are a couple, so it wasn't hard to use that in the shoot. I certainly felt part of it was not really acting! We always have a laugh. Hermione is incredible. She is SUPER talented, and is the nicest people I have ever met. At the beginning I think she was misunderstood by a lot of us, but as the weeks go by, everybody calms down, and our personalities really shine through when we are together. By this stage, we all know when to leave somebody alone if they are annoyed or upset. We know each other’s boundaries. So the real Hermione is shining through now, and it’s a bright light. I am really the only one with the courage to really annoy her... and trust me, I succeed. Hahaha!!! But we have a great understanding of each other. The only part that I struggled in for this shoot was recording the song. I was totally caught off guard when I realized how hard it was to sing this song. I can't even tell you how frustrated I was with myself. It was not in my range at all and my voice kept cracking. Not fun! :( Thankfully Nikki was very patient with me and encouraged me and we eventually got what we needed.

Being in the bottom four was a huge, huge blow. As I said, I felt like I was gaining momentum, and I won't lie, for the first time, I thought I had done enough to not be there. I genuinely thought I had done enough to scrape through. So that made it an even harder blow to take. When you take the time to sit down and think about it, it’s soul-destroying to know that sometimes your best just isn't enough. So the best thing to do is get back up and fight. I want to get better, I want to improve. I have a short space of time to do it if I want to win this show, but I will try. But so far, for me, this was the hardest moment.

I was gutted when I found out that Bree had been eliminated. She was one of my best friends on the show and is one of the most genuine, good-hearted, brilliant people I have ever met. Not to mention very likely the best all-around and experienced performer there. That is why her elimination was also such a shock. It was stirring to know that, even if you produce the best last chance performance, stay on top of the game, and demonstrate the most consistently great work throughout the show, you can get the rug ripped right out from under you if your opponents are somewhat favored in character or some other factor. You can fight for your life but it just comes down to what will inspire Ryan for Glee.

For me, I have to find a way to lift myself for next week. My head is not in a good place. This is the biggest test I will ever face... but bring it on. I am a fighter, I am still here, and I am going to do my best to win this thing.

Til next week everyone! Simon Out!